Monday, September 12, 2011

10 Years ago...

I have debated over and over about posting about 9/11 because I either have to tell something I rarely talk about or ignore it all together. Their really is no middle for us.

My husband had just retired on Sept 7, 2001 from the US Navy after being in for 22 years. He had started working construction. We lived in San Diego, so for us our morning was just beginning. He was in the livingroom putting his work boots on when he was watching on the TV the first tower in smoke and then right in front of him he watched as the 2nd plane hit the 2nd tower.

I was still sleeping he woke me up and said "We are under attack, I'm not going to work, I'm going back to the ship, to stop my paperwork."

That started the downward spiral of my husbands emotional well being. He did go back to the ship and begged and begged to be let back in. Their was nothing the captain could do, his Retirement was final. From that point forward he was in groused with the news, knowing full well their would be a war.

The war came and he became worse, not being able to do the job he had been trained to do for so many years.

For us, 9/11 started our family on a very long walk through hell it self. So we tend to not talk about it much around here.

10 years later, my husband is about as back to normal as he will ever be. He still has health problems from the many suicide attempts. He has been stable for a short while now, his last suicide attempt was Sept of 2009.

We are on pins and needles waiting for September to be over. If he gets to watching to much 9/11 coverage I interfere. This morning it took him almost 2 hours to put all the cables back together. From VCR to Cable box to TV;-)

I really do feel for all those that lost loved ones, but I really do think their is way to much TV coverage of the event. Not everyone has the self control (or emotional stability) to know when it's to much.


CK said...

Wow, Sonia, what a somber post. I remember you mentioning some difficult family times in the past and now I can see how September must be a bad month for you guys. I'm glad your husband hasn't had another suicide attempt for two years.
We actually don't have a TV but I did look up a few 9/11 memorials on Sunday. There are a few websites out there that encourage and promote kind acts of service and growth in remembrance of that day. I hope that eventually you can see it as such; a time that marks a measure of emotional growth for you and your family, and maybe not so much stress.

Sonia Barton said...

That is why I really debated about posting it, but then figured it really is part of my life. I really wish that I could get rid of the TV's in the house.

Thank you for you comment.

CraftyMummy said...

Hi Sonia. What a lot you have had to deal with!

It continues to amaze me that a single event in one place and time has so many ripples in so many other places still. Even here in Australia, my friends have I have been talking about how we know where we were when it happened and we remember watching the footage.

I have always been wow-ed by your creativeness and your humility among other things. Now I'm adding courage and steadfastness to that list. {hugs}

Sonia Barton said...

Thank you for your kind words. I had never wanted to give the terrorist the pleasure of knowing their effect on our family. Then I realized that if you keep it all in, your only hurting yourself.


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