I seem to be having an identity crisis. I never thought I would be where I am at 40 years old. I've been feeling a bit trapped. My truck keeps braking down and I never thought I would be in a situation were I'm having to figure out the bus schedule, because I have no money or recourses to fix what needed fixing.
Lots of flat out wrong decisions and some not so good one's on my part and the part of those around me have landed us here.
I don't like the feeling of being trapped, I run out screaming. Literally, I've had a truck since my senior year of High School and more than once I've put everything I owned in the back of it and disappeared, just moved on. I can't do that this time, it would be irresponsible, not that it wasn't before, but this time it really really would be.
So I have decided to decide Who I am! and What I want to be! I think I lost my path a while back, and I'm getting back to it. I printed off the local Community College Spring course catalogue and have chosen a few classes. I'm going to meet with a counselor and see what needs to be done to move on to the local University and get my Bachelors Degree, and then start hiding some money to move back to San Diego or maybe Los Angeles (my family doesn't like LA) and continue with a Textile or Fashion Degree.
I want to have a Fashion line to specialize in Modest Wedding and Formal Attire! I was on that path once, and then lost that focus. I'm getting on that path again.
Here is a dress a did a few years ago - that I just found the pictures to. 6 years ago I was doing at least one dress a month. I want to get back to that. It gives me Joy!